A Wild Animal Ate a Person in the Woods by Adam Craig

Author:Adam Craig
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
Publisher: Cinnamon Press
Published: 2014-09-22T00:00:00+00:00

An Unfortunate Accident

I was sitting quietly, when the idea that I’d had an unfortunate accident in my brand new shorts crept over me. Horrified, I shuffled off to check. I undid the shorts and gingerly looked inside.

No accident. Just a small crab, a bit ruffled from being sat on. It gave me a sour look and scuttled off.

The crab left a packet of peanuts behind. Shakily, I ate one of the nuts.

Prawn cocktail flavour.

Disgusted, I spat out the half-chewed nut. Where the fragments landed, out-of-town shopping malls, car parks and cafés sprang up. Some of the shoppers were prawns, but most were people. The people had brought shopping bags from home. They wore them on their heads. The bags looked like hessian, but smelled of damp plastic.

All of the prawn shoppers whistled in spring sunshine. All the people shoppers waited in drab rain. They formed a long, long queue for the bus and said nothing. Just dripped and looked glum.

I’m not wearing shorts again.

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